memento #6 / paranoid thoughts

I was on my way to Brooklyn, the other day.
the subway car wasn’t packed,
but there were any available seats left.

I was reading a book about meditation,
and leaning against the subway car door.

on the other side of the car, there was that guy,
sweating, greasy hair, thick lips.
he was squeezing some silicone blonde with his
sausage like fingers.

he was squeezing her, like a toothpaste tube.

and I got anxious, you know, because she may burst
and the silicone will ooze from the walls
and everybody in the car will be covered with it.

and this guy will look at his hands
with frightened eyes, then at me
and will lose his conscience.

and everybody will scream, but me,
yet the thought of becoming a vegetarian,
nevertheless penetrated my mind.

and the train will stop
and it will happen right in the middle of Brooklyn bridge.

then the police will come
and the EMT too,
they’ll put that girl into the plastic bag
and then into glass tube filled formalin
and display it in the Ripley’s Believe it or not.

later I will bring my kids and show them this tube,
and tell them this story about the train.

then the train stopped at DeCalb Avenue
and they left the train.

I got back to my meditation book,
thinking about the steak, that I had
for lunch.


a failure of the self improvement strategy

today I realized, that I am no longer interested in
sticking my head into the rabbit holes of any size and depth.
I lost my intent in chasing the rabbits too, of any kind or color.

I am no longer biased what mushroom to eat to grow big or to shrink,
eventually, the consequences will pile up in the reeking pit
and will be turned into colorful smoke by the doped insect.

I amputated my conscience and replaced it with cynicism,
innocence with sarcasm.
I felt so conceited till she came and said
“there is no allure without the sin”.

Étude #9/an indie movie

a bench on the shore of the feculent pond
hungry geese, sweaty fathers, smoking moms, –
(a local beau monde)

some kids were burying a dead turtle in the dirt
while a strange man in the mustard training suite
was recording the ceremony with his smartphone.

I had a feeling of an insecurity; the kind you get when you’re watching
some obscure indie B-movie and having doubts about
whether the movie is actually crappy or you don’t understand the plot.

I gave up reading my book after a several attempts
the reflection of the light from the pages was intense
which made the small letters difficult to read.

then my wife came back with our children from the playground,
they were hungry and wanted to eat out.
while we were packing I’ve noticed that that kids found another


last night

when we danced
between the solar prominences

some remote stars
collapsed into supernovas

and some hungry black holes

also, one wandering comet
came too close to planet Earth

the divine messenger came down
and said

there are more quiet ways
to study astronomy

the guests

I was visiting my friend the other day
I had a bottle of vodka in the right pocket of my coat
and a long Saturday night in my left

he told me before, that he has guests

when I entered his dining room
the guests were sitting at the table
same face
same head shape
same hat on each head
three brothers, different ages

(later, I told my friend that they’re making an impression of the guests
that will never leave)

during the dinner they were quiet
looking at me, like three owls on a twig
winking behind their glasses

(I think there was some sort of code in their winks)

at some point the guests left the room, taking an unfinished bottle of vodka with them
and the long Saturday night too

later, when I was laying in the bed I was thinking about the guests

I often try to feel the others through myself
they were sitting on a twig
arguing what three wishes they should ask me to do for them
while I was confined in the empty vodka bottle