I am not

stop preaching me about humanism
because I am not a humanist
I believe in God
you can’t believe in God
and believe in humanity
at the same time
I could try,
but I will not
as long as history will repeat itself

don’t tell me that I am angry,
because I am not,
don’t see a reason to be
– true,
I refuse to lie to myself
and convince myself
to appreciate our moral values
how can I appreciate something
that goes against my free will
that tells me to be somebody
who I am not.

I cannot.

a treehouse

the riverbank
of my consciousness,
the treehouse of my solitude
where I can’t see myself.
I sit & watch
sailboats of my memories,
they’re randomly moving,
taken by the turbulence.
only You see the pattern
in their chaotic movements.

I won’t get down.
I won’t immerse myself into the river.
I will never blow into the motley sail.
I will sit & watch.
Until you’ll call me.